Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Cheating on me, cheating on you
It is a near universal truth amongst women that all men cheat at some point in their relationships.
How they come to this conclusion beats me.
Does it mean that ALL women have been victims of male cheaters?
(For clarification, I'm referring to hetero-sexual couples)
If that's the case, then, WOAH!
We, men certainly have a monopoly on infidelity.
From personal experience *cough*cough* however, I know this is not true.
Or does this mean that men are more liable to confess or more liable to be caught than women are?
And hence, women are more adroit in the fine and risky art of cheating since they are rarely caught?
I tend to drift to this conclusion.
Anyway, my questions are:
Have you ever cheated? (Note that cheating doesn't necessarily culminate in sex. Ha! Gotcha.)
If you accidentally cheat, would you let your conscience (if you have any) make you confess?
Or would you let yourself believe that its better to spare your better half the agony of the truth? (Click the subject above for consolation)
After-thought:
Remember the virgins they say Allah promised suicide bombers? Does it say if they are male or female?
How they come to this conclusion beats me.
Does it mean that ALL women have been victims of male cheaters?
(For clarification, I'm referring to hetero-sexual couples)
If that's the case, then, WOAH!
We, men certainly have a monopoly on infidelity.
From personal experience *cough*cough* however, I know this is not true.
Or does this mean that men are more liable to confess or more liable to be caught than women are?
And hence, women are more adroit in the fine and risky art of cheating since they are rarely caught?
I tend to drift to this conclusion.
Anyway, my questions are:
Have you ever cheated? (Note that cheating doesn't necessarily culminate in sex. Ha! Gotcha.)
If you accidentally cheat, would you let your conscience (if you have any) make you confess?
Or would you let yourself believe that its better to spare your better half the agony of the truth? (Click the subject above for consolation)
After-thought:
Remember the virgins they say Allah promised suicide bombers? Does it say if they are male or female?
55 comments:
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FIRST!!!
So... Is this ? directed to just males or both genders?
Anyway, what is cheating if it does not involve sex or 'pre-sex' of some kind? I'm lost here o.
Does cheating include normal chatting with an ex online (no naughtiness involved)? Not that moi has been doing that o. I think cheating means different things to different people.
Anyway, what is cheating if it does not involve sex or 'pre-sex' of some kind? I'm lost here o.
Does cheating include normal chatting with an ex online (no naughtiness involved)? Not that moi has been doing that o. I think cheating means different things to different people.
Bumight, that's some dirty tricks mehn! Only one minute in it. Wait till I get you! Lol.
this is something I have thought about.
Pple scream about cheating because Men are more liable to cheat- for the most part.
Also, women are a lot smarter than men (sorry, its the truth) and so more often than not they KNOW if you are cheating. they WILL find out.
PS: if u are a cheating male, and ur wife hasnt confronted you, best believe she knows. she's just not telling you
In the same vein, cos women are so smart, they hardly ever get caught cheating.
Pple scream about cheating because Men are more liable to cheat- for the most part.
Also, women are a lot smarter than men (sorry, its the truth) and so more often than not they KNOW if you are cheating. they WILL find out.
PS: if u are a cheating male, and ur wife hasnt confronted you, best believe she knows. she's just not telling you
In the same vein, cos women are so smart, they hardly ever get caught cheating.
lol! @ d virgins allah promised em terrorist.
It seems u have been thinking deep since u got engaged.
I have never cheated n i so pray i wont as long as i live. Its always btr 2 tell d truth no matter how hard it is.
howz preps?
It seems u have been thinking deep since u got engaged.
I have never cheated n i so pray i wont as long as i live. Its always btr 2 tell d truth no matter how hard it is.
howz preps?
Naijalines, lets safely assume that cheating refers to things only your better half should be doing to you. This includes your body. PERIOD.
Bumight, who says men are more liable to cheat? Women, thats who. Isn't that a biased view?
Bumight, who says men are more liable to cheat? Women, thats who. Isn't that a biased view?
OluwaDee, this engagement thingy is really nice huh :P
Preps is horrendous. Moving on though. Paid for the hall already.
Did you get my response to your attachment?
I still havent gotten my invite!
Preps is horrendous. Moving on though. Paid for the hall already.
Did you get my response to your attachment?
I still havent gotten my invite!
I think most people know when something they are saying or doing is bordering on or going to lead to flat out cheating...we might want to delude ourselves otherwise but yeah, we know when we're on the path to something bad.
I have never cheated (but I have barely dated!), but I was once toasted and very flattered by the attentions of one married guy...until I realized he was married. Nothing fades my attraction faster than knowing the guy who thinks I'm cool ain't single!
Married men who cheat can be so slick though, saying things like "Oh, if only I met you first..." and other nonsense like that that sounds so good that you almost, almost believe it!
I do think more men than women cheat, but I don't think that men are better at confessing; I think they just get caught more often than women because they get cocky and don't count on their women being smart enough to notice that things aren't right.
I have never cheated (but I have barely dated!), but I was once toasted and very flattered by the attentions of one married guy...until I realized he was married. Nothing fades my attraction faster than knowing the guy who thinks I'm cool ain't single!
Married men who cheat can be so slick though, saying things like "Oh, if only I met you first..." and other nonsense like that that sounds so good that you almost, almost believe it!
I do think more men than women cheat, but I don't think that men are better at confessing; I think they just get caught more often than women because they get cocky and don't count on their women being smart enough to notice that things aren't right.
Hahaha... I like ur after-thought.
Sometimes, I ask myself that same question.
Sometimes, I ask myself that same question.
I'm interested in the *cough cough* line...
Well, like bumight mentionned before... Men are a lot more sloppy than women... Hence, they are easily caught and/or suspected...
Plus, we are in a society that has different standards for males and females... I do believe that women and men have the same impulses to cheat (or not cheat) but because of society's lax rules on men versus the outrageous demands made on the female counterparts, you have a wider range of male cheaters than female...
Have I cheated? What are we calling cheating here? Loll!
Your after-thought is a good one, I need to ask around and see. I'm intrigued. :)
Plus, we are in a society that has different standards for males and females... I do believe that women and men have the same impulses to cheat (or not cheat) but because of society's lax rules on men versus the outrageous demands made on the female counterparts, you have a wider range of male cheaters than female...
Have I cheated? What are we calling cheating here? Loll!
Your after-thought is a good one, I need to ask around and see. I'm intrigued. :)
Cheating is not gender associated, its a personal thing. When a man/woman cheats, they do it for their own personal reasons.
Not all men are cheats...i know am a feminist but a realist too. Women are more discrete and are less likely to get caught, that's just is.
I have never cheated....too much of a goody two shoes!! LOL LOL
Not all men are cheats...i know am a feminist but a realist too. Women are more discrete and are less likely to get caught, that's just is.
I have never cheated....too much of a goody two shoes!! LOL LOL
I really hope the terrorists have big ass male virgins waithing for them up there...as part of their eternal punishment....POETIC Justic. heheheheh
lol @ OluwaDee about getting serious. I haven't cheated... well here's the thing, he was in Nigeria, I had moved to Chicago. He started running out on me, I got wind of it, and I found myself someone else. though we weren't officially broken up. (we did eventually sha).
Does that count?
It think the best thing is always to tell. The fear is that the relationship would end, but it's the risk that needs to be taken. (Ref: Steve and Miranda in Sex and the City, the Movie. I know it's only fiction but it happens in real life sometimes). There's always the need to clear the air.
Does that count?
It think the best thing is always to tell. The fear is that the relationship would end, but it's the risk that needs to be taken. (Ref: Steve and Miranda in Sex and the City, the Movie. I know it's only fiction but it happens in real life sometimes). There's always the need to clear the air.
hmm- interesting topic....cheating has something to do with gender. Its just the way we are built. Women are just less likely to cheat for 'fun'. For them, its emotional also. Most times, they'd rather not. Its deeper than sex. You probably lost a cheating woman emotionally but a cheating man can be around for a long while afterwards. My 2 cents.
I have cheated and pushed it away as the devils work, though I bring it out and gloat in silence each time he cheats and is caught…
I guess the virgins will depend on if you are into guys or gilrs!!!
I guess the virgins will depend on if you are into guys or gilrs!!!
Tobenna! This is a question that must be answered! Hmmmmmm! have I ever cheated?
I am cracking up at that afterthought. Now, I don't ever want that to be misconstrued for having no respect for Islam, because I respect everyone's right to practice whatever faith they choose, but you gotta admit, that is funny!!!!
As per cheating: hmmm, it depends. Does breaking up with a boyfriend a million times, him refusing to let you go and you moving on with your life qualify as cheating?
Okay, Tobenna, so have you cheated? You can't ask the question and not expect us to want an HONEST answer
As per cheating: hmmm, it depends. Does breaking up with a boyfriend a million times, him refusing to let you go and you moving on with your life qualify as cheating?
Okay, Tobenna, so have you cheated? You can't ask the question and not expect us to want an HONEST answer
sexually, i'd say i've cheated once. i guess i justified my action cos he more or less dared me to it. i've always been an advocate of fidelity & naively assumed my partners were too. so dis bf of mine @ d time told me 2 my face dat fidelity was expected 4rm me cos i was a woman, but as a man d same rule ddnt apply. i was young, 20, while he was 26 or older, i ddnt argue with him. i said nothing, though i was furious. what i did was 2 cheat with d 1st available man i admired. i never told him abt dis though, even wen i discovered he cheated on me (rather, he had been cheating on his main squeeze wit me)
emotionally, well u could say i've done dat a few times more dan once. usually, d rship was already dying. i never confessed though. not cos i ddnt feel guilty, but cos i felt it was necessary.
also, if my partner cheats, I DON'T EVER WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT
emotionally, well u could say i've done dat a few times more dan once. usually, d rship was already dying. i never confessed though. not cos i ddnt feel guilty, but cos i felt it was necessary.
also, if my partner cheats, I DON'T EVER WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT
I have never cheated. Never will.
I advocate for zero tolerance for infidelity. Women cheat more than men { according to a Time magazine survey. Please dont ask me for details.) everything i tell you is true...
I advocate for zero tolerance for infidelity. Women cheat more than men { according to a Time magazine survey. Please dont ask me for details.) everything i tell you is true...
cheating.......if i have ever i cant remember...*wink*...
well in heaven u DO get your hearts desires...male or females as they wish......
well in heaven u DO get your hearts desires...male or females as they wish......
shirak!!!. just felt like saying dat.lol. ill like to hear more on *cough*.
Cheating means different things to different people.
Does allowing another man take you out to dinner count as cheating? Okay what if he kisses you after the dinner...does that also count?
lol!
i know if you end up in his bed after dinner, that one na pure cheating!!!
Does allowing another man take you out to dinner count as cheating? Okay what if he kisses you after the dinner...does that also count?
lol!
i know if you end up in his bed after dinner, that one na pure cheating!!!
mentally i have imagined myself with someone else while i was in a relationship but at the end of the day i think its just fantasies..we are all human innit..and actually indulging in those fantasies that mean cheating for me..
lol at the virgin comment..ive heard that on this comedy skit before...:)
lol at the virgin comment..ive heard that on this comedy skit before...:)
oh and ill let you know about my blog address thing..it works for some but not for all...i might change it again or something..
don't cheat...period.
if you do tell the other person...it is their choice to make...some will stay...but the choice is a reflection of who they are & what you mean to them.
4 the people who don't want to know...have an honest conversation with your partner and let them know your position...it doesn't mean you've given them carte blanche to cheat...just that you don't want to change your opinion of them if they betray your trust… you hope and pray they understand that you hold them in high esteem… you hope and pray that they wouldn't do it because they feel the same way
re: the virgins (male or female)...they don't exist...but those stupid pigs are thick to realise it
if you do tell the other person...it is their choice to make...some will stay...but the choice is a reflection of who they are & what you mean to them.
4 the people who don't want to know...have an honest conversation with your partner and let them know your position...it doesn't mean you've given them carte blanche to cheat...just that you don't want to change your opinion of them if they betray your trust… you hope and pray they understand that you hold them in high esteem… you hope and pray that they wouldn't do it because they feel the same way
re: the virgins (male or female)...they don't exist...but those stupid pigs are thick to realise it
Hmm.... I wont comment on your after thought. There's this story of an English teacher in Sudan and a Teddy bear. I'm sure you know the rest.
Thanks for the comment you posted on my blog. You see, ma mehn, that's my very point of starting the blog. If a girl is not into you please move on! Na by force?
Thanks for the comment you posted on my blog. You see, ma mehn, that's my very point of starting the blog. If a girl is not into you please move on! Na by force?
Revenge...no...
ahem *clears throat* ... i agree with everyone (for a lack of something to say)...lol
why are u asking this question anyway? is there something u are indirectly telling us? or not? *right eyebrow cocked*
do we get invites to ur wedding?
do we get invites to ur wedding?
hey, I'm back again cos i just read the article that the post title was linked to. It made some good sense.
*Thanks for stopping by.
*How u dey?
x
*Thanks for stopping by.
*How u dey?
x
lol @ Jaja
On the virgin comment, i think they r women...havent heard of any female suicide bomber.
On the virgin comment, i think they r women...havent heard of any female suicide bomber.
...and who are the men cheating with?
@jamesbond dudu...unfortunately i have...they use men and women indiscriminately to harm others but I’m not sure what they promise the women… maybe the ability to wear mini skirts and bikinis *sighs*
Iv never cheated
Or been cheated on
I guess its one of those what goes around comes around kinda of things..well not always..
Or been cheated on
I guess its one of those what goes around comes around kinda of things..well not always..
Hmmm, I really don knw how peeps come to the belief that “all men” cheat!!! I beg to defer. I have had a lot of argument with a lot of peeps on this. I think it’s born out of the “Fallacy of Hasty Generalisation” and the fact that while a lot of women would rather not talk about cheating on their partners, a lot of men would take pride in talking about it as if what they are doing is right. The common say is “I am an African man now”. And I do ask if Africanism is equal cheatism (both r my English –lol).
To me what is not good is not good and shd u cheat for any reason, it’s better to at least feel it’s “unfair” to do so. That what I will feel if I ever cheated. I would not to tell my partner as it’s good to come clean but I am not sure at what stage. Shd this happen but I pray not
And Jinta: I wish u wld not be too defensive of men. We know u want to respect your gender at all cost but let’s reason together ***wink***. So, who are the women too cheating with? I don’t think the focus is who anyone is cheating with. It’s all about trying to get this right and do what is right.
To me what is not good is not good and shd u cheat for any reason, it’s better to at least feel it’s “unfair” to do so. That what I will feel if I ever cheated. I would not to tell my partner as it’s good to come clean but I am not sure at what stage. Shd this happen but I pray not
And Jinta: I wish u wld not be too defensive of men. We know u want to respect your gender at all cost but let’s reason together ***wink***. So, who are the women too cheating with? I don’t think the focus is who anyone is cheating with. It’s all about trying to get this right and do what is right.
hmmmm
more men cheat than women. Men cheat because they can....it is all about sex..sex..sex...
I believe virgins are promised to the male bombers...
more men cheat than women. Men cheat because they can....it is all about sex..sex..sex...
I believe virgins are promised to the male bombers...
have u ever cheated? cheating doesn't have to end in sex? really?
I had a boyfriend dat I could bet my soul was cheating on me but I neva caught him. Its eda he was dat good or i was just plain paranoid. I take he was good..lol
...lol @ jaja...
...have never cheated but dunno if i qualify to answer such a question...please don't ask for clarification...i don't plan to cheat...if i follow through with my harem plans, technically that is not cheating because they would know about each other, mostly...
...i hate this whole infidelity thing...my dude just better not fuck with me...i don't play that cheated shit...
...i used to say that if you cheated, you should tell the truth and tell your spouse...a case of infidelity of a friend of mine has changed my stance on that...i think each situation depends...
...have never cheated but dunno if i qualify to answer such a question...please don't ask for clarification...i don't plan to cheat...if i follow through with my harem plans, technically that is not cheating because they would know about each other, mostly...
...i hate this whole infidelity thing...my dude just better not fuck with me...i don't play that cheated shit...
...i used to say that if you cheated, you should tell the truth and tell your spouse...a case of infidelity of a friend of mine has changed my stance on that...i think each situation depends...
Yes I've cheated, its something i prefer not to think about because he was a "good guy" and though he never outright caught me there were some close calls.
I disagree that women are more skillful in the art of cheating because they rarely get caught.
Men are so much skillful in the area of infedelity. A man will carry 2 phones one for the wife and one for the girlfriend, have codenames to use, even keep a secret credit card and apartment all to cheat and not get caught.
I disagree that women are more skillful in the art of cheating because they rarely get caught.
Men are so much skillful in the area of infedelity. A man will carry 2 phones one for the wife and one for the girlfriend, have codenames to use, even keep a secret credit card and apartment all to cheat and not get caught.
guy,update joooooooooooo
Nwanna! Time neva reasch 4 u to update? Abeg come congratulate on passing my test joo....
not to to be a bug or anything..but uhmmm
UPDATE! :)
hows the wedding planning comng>?
UPDATE! :)
hows the wedding planning comng>?
Cheating is not gender based, it is person based. (poetic licence)
brother update now haba...
Abeg update...(lol)
Where in the world are you?? Honeymoon?
Hello!
Update!!
And yes, I have cheated. In fact, there isn't any time that I have not cheated...kinda sorta.
And no, I do not wish to discuss this any further!
Now, update!
And yes, I have cheated. In fact, there isn't any time that I have not cheated...kinda sorta.
And no, I do not wish to discuss this any further!
Now, update!
Tobenna, where r u????
U need 2 update o.
U need 2 update o.
Answering your question...Have I ever cheated (noting that cheating doesnt necessarily culminating in sex)...then yes, I have cheated. There is no such thing as ACCIDENTALLY cheating. If you've done it then you wanted to do it. That is the most lame excuse...mmmkay! My conscious will eat at me but somethings are better left alone...some may think ;)
Have I cheated? Can l lie? Lol well truthfully, Yeah. Not proud of it though.
"After-thought:
Remember the virgins they say Allah promised suicide bombers? Does it say if they are male or female?" - twisted!!! LOL My mind went in a million twisted directions. Funny as hell.
Remember the virgins they say Allah promised suicide bombers? Does it say if they are male or female?" - twisted!!! LOL My mind went in a million twisted directions. Funny as hell.