Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Starcomms please....

When I moved to Lagos from Port Harcourt, I had to source for a new internet service provider (ISP) as Hyperia's poor service was non existent in Lagos.

I settled for Starcomm's izap broadband usb modem.
Truthfully, this served me and my wife pretty well.
Until one day.
We were cut off.
Thinking it was a glitch or something, I called customer service and was informed that my time had expired and I had to pay for another month. I knew this was not true as I still had about a week's access left but proceeded to pay N15,950 for another month's access.

Still no joy.

I call again and was told that I was disconnected and had to go to their head office to resolve the issue.
Here I was happily informed that my line was used for SPAM/SCAM hence the disconnection.
Now I was confused.

"Can I get a report as to what that means and how do I resolve this?" I asked.
I was told to submit a passport photograph, fill an indemnity form, fill another data subscription form, submit a copy of a valid ID card and finally a utility bill.
I was to submit all at the head office.
I do that and I am told they cannot reconnect me.
(By now I begin to get the sneaky feeling that my disconnection is due to my 'torrenting')

So, they send me this report. A letter they had received from agents from Lionsgate Films Ltd.

Madea Goes To Jail?!
Ok, ok. I admit.
I am guilty.
I haven't been to the cinemas in a while because I can download these movies off the web.
And now I've been nabbed.
In faraway Nigeria.
The arms of Hollywood is definitely loooong
So, Starcomms, I have signed the indemnity form.
I will not torrent anymore.
Just reconnect me.
Friday, March 20, 2009

God is Great

I work in an open office environment with roughly 30 people of mixed nationalities and religion.

So, I'm at work and this ring tone of "You are blessed................; you are blessed.................; etc etc. Somebody shout hallelujaaah!" by pastor Chris Oyakhilome, I believe, on maximum volume, has been assaulting our senses rather regularly.

This has been going on for a few weeks now.
For some reason, the phone owner leaves the phone to ring for a while just to get the full impact of the blessing.
Wait a minute!
Its not just one of them.
There's two of 'em with this ring tone!

So, this morning, I'm at work again and have been blessed a few times already.
Next thing we hear is "Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahu akbar!"
For the next 10 minutes, work could not proceed further as we were reduced to laughing uncontrollably.
I'm afraid now of what we will hear next week.

In the famous words of LG "Norrin do dem"
Friday, March 13, 2009

Queer? No thank you.

Why is it unfashionable to say that "Homosexuality is wrong?"
And fashionable to say that "Homosexuality is only human?" "I love homo's!"

Why is discrimination based on people's sexuality equated to discrimination based on race? (or tribe, for that matter)

Why do the Western world die for 'freedom of speech/rights' then SHOUT! against the rights of majority of Nigerian's to pass a law that criminalises homosexual marriages? (note that this is different from actually having same sex outside marriage)

Why do 'queers' say they were born 'queer'.
My God.
Could it be...... that perhaps, they are right?

What the heck is 'queer' anyways?

Queer - according to Webster's dictionary
2 a: differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal b (1): eccentric , unconventional (2): mildly insane : touched c: absorbed or interested to an extreme or unreasonable degree : obsessed d (1)often disparaging : homosexual (2)sometimes offensive : gay 4b

Our (slightly crazy) Foreign Affairs Minister told the United Nations that there are no homosexuals in Nigeria.
“During our National Consultative Forum, we went out of our way to look for gay, lesbian and transgender groups but we could not come across Nigerians with such sexuality”, Madueke said. He further informed the audience that his ministry located only one woman of lesbian orientation and when invited to participate in a discussion on the rights of gay and lesbian persons, the lady informed his Ministry that she was pregnant.

Blatant lie of course.
But, do you blame him?
There was nothing he could have said that those 'oibo' people would not have used against him.
Why not say something stupid - a la Ahmadinejad (who said something similar once)?

If it is not clear yet, I am a Christian.
Oh, and I have broken all the 10 Commandments and a whole lot more.
With the exception of number 6 - murder and number 7 - adultery (adultery is fornication after marriage right?) At least not yet :P
Am I different or better than 'queers'?
I dare say, probably even worse.
Heck, homosexuality is not even listed in the 10 Commandments.

Does this justify it?
Does this make it right to be homosexual?
I think not.

So, while the Nigerian House of Assembly is deliberating this bill to criminalise gay marriages, they might as well start with criminalising the 10 Commandment + 1 infringements.
The +1 is for corruption.

By the way, the Naija Bloggers Award is still ongoing. Especially the male blogger section. *wink*wink*
Hop over and do your thing.
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