Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Pre-wedding jitters
I have avoided putting up any post that relates in anyway to my upcoming vows.
Vows of absoluteness. Totality.
The title says it all.
I have gotten ice cold feet about getting married.
No, I did not just develop this now.
It has always been simmering in the background but I've managed to push it to the furthest corner of my mind successfully until now.
A category 6 storm. Quietly brewing. Gathering steam.
Hurricane Tobenna
Now! Its jumped to a category 2!
(Or is it a category 2 to 6?)
And it's threatening to blow my head OFF!
I'm getting married in about 3 weeks time.
3 weeks!
23days and 20hours!!
My life as I know it now is about to end!
Now if you ask me what the problem is, or what exactly I'm scared of, I will not be able to give you an answer that makes sense. My excuses can only be understood by menfolk. I hope.
I have no doubts about J.
She's my best friend and the sweetest thing to happen to me.
I'm truly lucky to have her to myself for the rest of my life.
But still....
I'm freaking SCARED!
What if.
What if..
What if...
What if....
Honestly, I've run out of what if's.
WHAT IF?!
Vows of absoluteness. Totality.
The title says it all.
I have gotten ice cold feet about getting married.
No, I did not just develop this now.
It has always been simmering in the background but I've managed to push it to the furthest corner of my mind successfully until now.
A category 6 storm. Quietly brewing. Gathering steam.
Hurricane Tobenna
Now! Its jumped to a category 2!
(Or is it a category 2 to 6?)
And it's threatening to blow my head OFF!
I'm getting married in about 3 weeks time.
3 weeks!
23days and 20hours!!
My life as I know it now is about to end!
Now if you ask me what the problem is, or what exactly I'm scared of, I will not be able to give you an answer that makes sense. My excuses can only be understood by menfolk. I hope.
I have no doubts about J.
She's my best friend and the sweetest thing to happen to me.
I'm truly lucky to have her to myself for the rest of my life.
But still....
I'm freaking SCARED!
What if.
What if..
What if...
What if....
Honestly, I've run out of what if's.
WHAT IF?!
56 comments:
like Jaycee said, u'll be fine. My mom just got married and even her husband who had done the whole marriage thing before had cold feet too...
what if nothing happened?
calm down, you'll be fine.
pre-wedding jitters are absolutely normal- i hear, especially from a guy!
calm down, you'll be fine.
pre-wedding jitters are absolutely normal- i hear, especially from a guy!
what if........
IT IS WELL
IT IS WELL
what if.... u have just made d best decision of ur life.... i am sure u have actually.
calm down, it is well.
think about the fact that you are becoming a responsible man, J is gonna call you her Husband...and u will call her ur wifey....
calm down, it is well.
think about the fact that you are becoming a responsible man, J is gonna call you her Husband...and u will call her ur wifey....
Exactly...what if nothing!
you'll be fine...just take a chill pill!
you'll be fine...just take a chill pill!
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
The good news is that all this proves that you're perfectly normal! It's a big life change so that is likely why you have these jitters.
I'll be in Nigeria while you are getting married so I'll make sure to toast you and J sometime during the trip!
I'll be in Nigeria while you are getting married so I'll make sure to toast you and J sometime during the trip!
oh my goodness!!! What happened to my long coment. I can't stand blogger!!!!!
In summary, think through you doubts. You have found a woman you love, whom you respect and cherish. If you can stand to be around her at lead 90% of the time, then believe me you've got a keeper. The two of you together will be better than you could have been as individuals and your union will be blessed with much success. Amin.
In summary, think through you doubts. You have found a woman you love, whom you respect and cherish. If you can stand to be around her at lead 90% of the time, then believe me you've got a keeper. The two of you together will be better than you could have been as individuals and your union will be blessed with much success. Amin.
Awwww.
I have never been this close to marriage, but I can understand where you're coming from.
This about this though: what if none of your what ifs become an issue?
I have never been this close to marriage, but I can understand where you're coming from.
This about this though: what if none of your what ifs become an issue?
Okay, I just read the comments and I just realized that my comment is just like everyone else's comment - except with different words. lol.
Sorry Tobenna. Oga di mma. Nsogbu adiro
Sorry Tobenna. Oga di mma. Nsogbu adiro
This comment has been removed by the author.
‘What if’ nothing jare...you'll be fine...
moving from 'i' to 'we' is a big deal and by God's grace it will be one of the best decisions you will ever make...yes your life as you know it will be over...but in a good way… in marriage you guys can fly together like butterflies and surpass even mountains...as single dude you are more like a larval caterpillar crawling on its belly...it's simply time get up and change perspective so you can scale new heights...it's time to evolve into a loving husband...& soon 2 be father ;-)
So stop running scared and snap out of it
moving from 'i' to 'we' is a big deal and by God's grace it will be one of the best decisions you will ever make...yes your life as you know it will be over...but in a good way… in marriage you guys can fly together like butterflies and surpass even mountains...as single dude you are more like a larval caterpillar crawling on its belly...it's simply time get up and change perspective so you can scale new heights...it's time to evolve into a loving husband...& soon 2 be father ;-)
So stop running scared and snap out of it
*hiss* wetin dey do blogger sef???
I worte an epistle on d whole weddign jitters thingy nd how my aunt is getting married on the same day u r nd how shes having cold feet too, now its nowhere to b found???
I worte an epistle on d whole weddign jitters thingy nd how my aunt is getting married on the same day u r nd how shes having cold feet too, now its nowhere to b found???
normal! you will be fine. otherwise, you can always elope to gambia with me.... as long as i can see a bank statement first!
:)
:)
u gon be alryt bruv. it's normal stuff u r bound to go thru (like i've been married b4...lol)
welcome 2 d club!!!!!
d day b4 our registry wedding, jeez i was freaking out. MM really tot i was going to bail out on him. i guess, he might have been feeling d way u r feeling now, but as my own pass him own, bobo just chill 4 him side.
voila, after d registry, it feel good dat i did it! i was proud of myself. MM ddnt mysteriously grow horns, & he's as sweet as ever. so, don't worry my broda. it's normal. oluwadee went 2ru d same thing.
"Ruffin It" is launched. If u haven't been there, follow my link ...
d day b4 our registry wedding, jeez i was freaking out. MM really tot i was going to bail out on him. i guess, he might have been feeling d way u r feeling now, but as my own pass him own, bobo just chill 4 him side.
voila, after d registry, it feel good dat i did it! i was proud of myself. MM ddnt mysteriously grow horns, & he's as sweet as ever. so, don't worry my broda. it's normal. oluwadee went 2ru d same thing.
"Ruffin It" is launched. If u haven't been there, follow my link ...
Contrary to your views, your life is just about to begin! Being married and staying married is the BEST thing that can happen to anyone - man or woman.
My brother, just quench that yeye hurricane Tobenna fast fast!
Finally please note that fear and doubts should not be entertained in any form. It is well! God has put His seal on your union with J.
My brother, just quench that yeye hurricane Tobenna fast fast!
Finally please note that fear and doubts should not be entertained in any form. It is well! God has put His seal on your union with J.
Awww...don't worry dear..with God on ur side everything dey kampe..
like others have mentioned jitters are only normal..marriage is beautiful, of cuz like anything successful in life it is hardwork but the merits definitely outweight the bad...
nothing do u!!!
like others have mentioned jitters are only normal..marriage is beautiful, of cuz like anything successful in life it is hardwork but the merits definitely outweight the bad...
nothing do u!!!
The feet will warm up soon just stay in the light of J's love :).
All the best
All the best
You'll be fine...
Perfect love casts out all fear...
Perfect love casts out all fear...
Its okay to be nervous
what if's are simply that... what if's.
What if I won the lottery
what if I lost my job
what if i married a millioniare?
the beauty of what if's is that they are never reality and the odds are greatly in your favour, you love her she loves you.....anything else that comes your way you guys can easily tackle......together
what if's are simply that... what if's.
What if I won the lottery
what if I lost my job
what if i married a millioniare?
the beauty of what if's is that they are never reality and the odds are greatly in your favour, you love her she loves you.....anything else that comes your way you guys can easily tackle......together
Mr Tobenna...your behaviour is completely normal...infact if you were calm then i'd be worried. Its a big step but a good one too :)
Stop panicking and go help that women with wedding arrangements to keep yourself busy!!!
Stop panicking and go help that women with wedding arrangements to keep yourself busy!!!
Dude, nothing dey happen. U'll be fine, ok?
All the best.
I'm toasting at your wedding ;)
All the best.
I'm toasting at your wedding ;)
nutin do u,i sent u a mail at ur addy.
Its perfectly normal to have these jitters. After all you are making a life time commitment.
marriage is a good and beautiful thing.
marriage is a good and beautiful thing.
congrats and goodluck.
it is well
it is well
Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all...dont give in. Enjoy what you have now and deal with the challenges when it comes. That's what makes life LIFE!
Good luck with the wedding.
Good luck with the wedding.
hahaha. no 'what-ifs' now hunny. You know in your heart that this is true so don't be overwhelmed by any random thoughts to spoil your joy. Just be cool about everything.
My dia, remember when we were giving O'Dee words of encouragement too? Don't worry o, everything will be fantastic. I'm sure you know that. It's just anxiety from the fact that your life as you know it is about to end. Truth is, it's not ending, it's about to become the best it's ever been. Believe it!
im sure women also have that fear also, and most times it has nothing to do with the affections.
take it easy, and let God direct u now that u are taking a (helper).
take it easy, and let God direct u now that u are taking a (helper).
don't worry, i think it happens to everyone and its rather normal. like LG said what if IT IS WELL and it is.
lol @ hurrican tobenna
lol @ hurrican tobenna
Often times the unknown threatens to unnerve us and often times when we are past it, we find we wasted energy freezing up. You will be alright.
T my love,
I feel u completely
marriage is a beautiful thing (at least that my parents have shown mi)
cold feet is normal - am in a tight spot now myself
but am sure u'll be balm
goodluck
I feel u completely
marriage is a beautiful thing (at least that my parents have shown mi)
cold feet is normal - am in a tight spot now myself
but am sure u'll be balm
goodluck
May be u r overthinking it...i know its the rest of your life and u shld think about it long and hard but you shouldnt see it as an end to your life you know it but the beginning of a new chapter in the book of your life as you know... the beginning of unending joy...
You said it yourself that you have no doubts about how she makes you feel...
Think abt it this way; YOU ARE GOING TO BE A VERY HAPPY MAN, and that's all there is to it.
Ef babe
You said it yourself that you have no doubts about how she makes you feel...
Think abt it this way; YOU ARE GOING TO BE A VERY HAPPY MAN, and that's all there is to it.
Ef babe
awww poor baby..ill pray for you :)
i think you are making a mistake. you will only be truly happy should you find me - me where your contentment rests.
Goodluck!!!
Goodluck!!!
What if you just lived happily after? Enjoy making it happen.
You come across as very smart guy...so I know you made the right decision. Marriage is beautiful and a blessing from God. Are you in Port Harcourt...or maybe I need to read your profile?
lol... Huricane Tobenna. Please unwind!
Its time for both of you to stand
back-to-back and conquer the world till you get to the place of your dreams. Enjoy every moment... laugh at every moment.
Its time for both of you to stand
back-to-back and conquer the world till you get to the place of your dreams. Enjoy every moment... laugh at every moment.
What if nothing happens?
I definitely appreciate your honesty, I've always wondered how people feel before that big day. I myself, shiver sometimes when I think about marriage but ya know what? Nothing will happen! It's probably gonna be a slightly advanced level of dating your dear J.
Don't look at it like a prison sentence..and I wish you the best in your soon to be married life, have a blast! and may God's blessings continue to be with you and your wife.
Oooh, see me doing a mini blog up in this piece..lol
I definitely appreciate your honesty, I've always wondered how people feel before that big day. I myself, shiver sometimes when I think about marriage but ya know what? Nothing will happen! It's probably gonna be a slightly advanced level of dating your dear J.
Don't look at it like a prison sentence..and I wish you the best in your soon to be married life, have a blast! and may God's blessings continue to be with you and your wife.
Oooh, see me doing a mini blog up in this piece..lol
Congratulations oh! Tobe, happy married life!
she's also secretly thinking the same thing i can bet...u think men! my single life is over...all the fun is over....console ur self u gbadun-ed it while it lasted and try to still do fun things weven after marriage....with ur wife...of course!
Found your blog through solomonseydelle. You're a great writer and i've saved your blog to my favs. I unfortunately missed the deadline to figure out the clue to go to your wedding website and was wondering since your wedding could very well be on my birthday, could I be able to get the link to your wedding site? i love weddings and wedding sites. something about finding out how people met and what was that spark that lit the fire. Hope you and your soon to be wife have a long and happy life together and always remember how you chose her as the "one" and vice versa. also, always remember that relationships, wether marriage or otherwise is simply something that, with the right person, doesn't take any work at all. it just is. I got that from an article i read that Tom Hanks had given when asked what made his marriage to Rita Wilson work. He said he was lucky to end up with someone where it was so easy to be with. God bless you and congratulations.
Dont worry bro, you will be fine. I know. Been there.
eeya, pele. i guess this is how most guys feel, so it's not unique to u. who's to say brides dont feel it too, that J doesnt feel it too?
talk to her, if she's ur best friend as u say, u two can discuss and u'll find that u'll feel better. that way, u are assured that even when things go awry after the wedding, u can always talk things through.
that's my two cents worth, i'm not married, so what do i know?
p.s, pls send ur email addy to thehola@gmail.com, i need to talk to u urgently! thank u
talk to her, if she's ur best friend as u say, u two can discuss and u'll find that u'll feel better. that way, u are assured that even when things go awry after the wedding, u can always talk things through.
that's my two cents worth, i'm not married, so what do i know?
p.s, pls send ur email addy to thehola@gmail.com, i need to talk to u urgently! thank u
Deep breaths ...and think of all the good things she has brought to your life and the beautiful future that awaits...you will be fine.
I am sure say my own jitters go jitter well well, and i no go even fit advise myself that time...lets hope you will be here to return my advise. lmao!!
I am sure say my own jitters go jitter well well, and i no go even fit advise myself that time...lets hope you will be here to return my advise. lmao!!
Hey dude...i ope say them jitters don stop cos its only a few days now o!
May be there...dunno yet.
May be there...dunno yet.
Smile, you're married!
SIR, I salute you on this epic journey your about to commence. reality/devil/faith/any other superfical thing, has away of instilling fear when you know that if you go through with this, that is it. NO turning back.
i think you will be fine to be honest, but i can only imagine what ur going through
i think you will be fine to be honest, but i can only imagine what ur going through
i just calculated and realised your now and a mr and mrs shirak!. well congrats..i missed soo much since i have been away...it is not fair...anyway i guess your probs in the bahamas soaking up more sun or skiing in the alps or something...say hello to mrs shirak!
pictures????maybe????? bridal train - i want to see!!!
pictures????maybe????? bridal train - i want to see!!!
Congratulations! You are now happily married to the LOVE of your life! I wish you too a very blissful and happy married life!
Stay Blessed!
Stay Blessed!
cold feet, cold feet, cold feet. Lol. u will be fine.
Its ok bruv, its a step you have to climb... guess what, it might be high but it will take you higher, which is a great thing!
x
x
very very normal..almost every bride n groom i know is plagued by what ifs? and the truth is that both of u have taken a leap into the unknown. I am positive all will be well....may be a few down moments but believe me with God (love) everything will be cool!! still sad i couldnt make ur wedding.
Cold feet is kinda normal!