shirak!

This one.....
Honestly, I dont know where to start from.

It seems every street here has a mall.
From Bukit Bintang to Putra to KLCC to Mid Valley to Jalan Ismail to Berjaya times square to bla bla bla
And some of them are huge!
Every woman's dream come true.
Trust me, you will spend everyday of one week in malls in this town and you wouldnt even have gone halfway.

Was at Mid-Valley mall, and after 1hr, I was tired and wanted to go home.
It took me another 30mins trying to find the exit I came in from.
My feet were aching and I had to sit down for a few minutes just to catch my breath!

English, la?
They have a problem with that here too.
Granted, I hear its worse in countries like France, Germany, Japan, China etc but it does get frustrating sometimes. Especially when you are lost and need to ask for directions and all you get is a mumble or gibberish and the only word that stands out is ''la''.
Thats kinda like our 'sheh' (shebi), 'abi' etc in Naija.

Anyways, ladies!
Come to Kuala Lumpur - the shoppers paradise. (I'm paid for the advertorial)

In the recent past, there has been a lot of press around Nigerian bloggers.
I never actually looked into one until I stumbled upon one online.
Then another, and another, and another....
Good grief!
We are everywhere. And we do it well too.
I was impressed.
Turns out some of them even have a followership too.
Very good.
At last we can share our views for the whole world to read.
Even heard there was a Naija blog party or something in Lagos.
Sigh....
Lagos.
You guys have all the fun. At least compared to other parts of the country.
I've given up on complaining about PHC.
Forgive me if you love PHC, but the town has hopelessly lost its appeal.
Funny though, PHC guys hate Lagos and would never live there.

5 years ago, young guy, transferred to PHC, big send off bash will be held, everyone asking for when they can come visit him. Telling him to take it easy on the groove/chics, etc
Fast forward to now: young guy transferred to PHC, all night prayer meeting, everyone telling him to stay indoors, avoid groove/chics

Now,
pity me.

But, since I'm still in KL, I'm not bothered.
When I get to that bridge, I'll cross it.

Ok, thats a laugh :)
Me? Illegal immigrant?

Well, I am almost there. After this weekend at the very least. In Malaysia! WTF!
A few days to go and some immigration police would be knocking down my door.

Came in to work with a visitor's permit.
Turns out Malaysia gives a maximum of 2 weeks stay to any Nigerian on a tourist/visitors visa.
My work permit is work in progress, but...... wont be ready for another 2/3 weeks.
And I have 6 more days to go before visa expires.

Went to the Imigressen dept in Putrajaya and stood in line for like 4hrs just to get a visa extension.
Eventually get told (in Malaysian English) to tell my company people to come over themselves.
My company then tells me, ''We have immigration specialists here. We'll handle it for you. But we'll submit it on Friday''
Friday! I exclaim. My visa expires on Sunday!
''Don't worry'', I am told.

Now, I'm worried.

So now, I am waiting.
Will let you know then....

Still haven't been able to adjust to the time zone thing.
I sleep late and wake up late.
Slept by 3am last night and woke up by 10.30!

Had planned to go to one church I found online but service time was for 9am.
I missed it.

So what do I do?
Go right back to sleep.

Anyways, here I am, browsing, just plain chilling.
Am I this freaking lazy or what?!

Apparently, I cant send texts to Naija gsm lines apart from Celtel.
Very few of my friends have that.

Looking for business prospects here.
Electronics here are relatively cheap, as well as food and taxis.
I should be trying to look at hitting the big time during my 3 months here.
In due time, in due time.

7 frigging hours ahead of Naija!
How am I going to cope?

My first 3 nights here and my eye just dey do shine shine bobo.
Heck, I was wide awake. Sleep no wan gree come.
Even had dinner by 3am on the second night!

My body has refused to adjust to the time lag or time fast forward. As the case may be.
Hopefully it will soon.

Had my first proper Malay meal today - Nasi Lemak. Actually, I think its Chinese.
Contents:
Rice + cassava chips + chilli sauce + plenty tiny dried fish + chicken + roasted groundnuts + cucumbers.
All in one plate. Or should I say, paper :)

What I've been eating all this while? A combination of Mcdonalds (yes, they have 'em here) & KFC's. Against my doctor's orders.

I went for a medical checkup a coupla weeks ago and the dotor says:
''Young man, do you excercise?''
Me: ''No way Sir. I'm a virile young man, my production level is high, no fat except the slight belly''
Doki: ''Well, you have a high cholesterol level''
Me: ''Doki, no vex oh, but what the heck is cholesterol and how that one take affect my life?''

And the man goes on to explain that it could lead to heart attacks and strokes.
That sat me up, quickly.

So, I'm off red meat, anything fried, chicken skin, egg yolk, bla, bla, blah.
I'm in deep shit.
How I'll survive on fish alone, (not even fried!) only God knows.
Sushi somebody? Anybody?

Moral of the story?

Get yourself a total check up once a year.
You never know.

Quick update on the missing 6 months.

I have met my wife.
Been going out for about 7 months now, and I know she's the one.
Any doubters, STEP UP!

I have become the son of an Anglican priest. Sigh... (Nwa reverend)
Now, I have to clean up my act.
Aaaargh! The 'be nice' attitude that has to follow :)

Thats all.

You see, life is really strolling past me!

3 months since my last blog entry!
I am getting very lazy at this.

Flew into Kuala Lumpur via Dubai on business class!
Not to my fault. It was my first time on Emirates business class.
Darn! Those chairs were comfy!
Food?
Don't even let me start on that.
It was crappy!

Anyway, I arrived 2 hours before the New Year 2008 and met some spectacular fireworks in the city.
Will be here for 3 months, so I have enough time to do everything :P

Ok, here's the deal.
30 years ago, Malaysia was on the same economic level with Naija.
Today, they have left us in the dust.
The country is cool.
Will post updates later on my escapades.

actually nothing to rant about.
just in the mood.

just joined a company that is current almost bankrupt. (Or so the management says)
they are planning a mass 'sacking' excercise, just when I stroll in.
Chineeeeke!

it had better be a joke oh.

domestic issues abound. me and my siblings are probably giving my folks serious headaches.
my kids had better be good.

New everything.
My life is new. At least, to some extent.

BREAKING NEWS!
I have met someone I want to spend the rest of my life with
:-)
At last.
Details later

Relocated a little while ago to Port Harcourt from Lagos.
Got here and the mess is even more noticeable because it is a smaller town with so much money.
Roads are tiny, not seen power in my new apartment in days, (can you believe its actually worse than Lagos?) militants here, there and everywhere (not seen any, though)

Couldn't care less at first. As far as I was concerned, who the heck was the governor of the state anyways? Who cares?
Until I saw my pay slip and the huge chunk that statetax took off!
A whopping 22%!
Some a**hole has a lot of explaining to do as to what is happening to my money!
Good grief!@?!
Who is the freaking governor and where does he live?

strange that I look forward to reading other peoples' blogs but do not bother updating mine
dasugo?
what are you waiting for?

I love my country, I no go lie
Na inside am, I go live and die
I love my country, I no go lie
Na me and 'im go yab till I die'

Not quite sure why this came to mind now (some old folk song from way back), because I'm not sure I really feel that way now!
Believe me, I love Naija, but there are sometimes I feel like tearing my hair out at the potentials we have and how we are just crawling.....

I just made an 'investment' (I choose/decieve myself to call it that, no blame me. Forget Rich Dad, Poor Dad - the guy no be Naija guy) on a state of the art home entertainment system. I bought an Samsung LCD tv (my parents should not hear this) to replace my 25 inch Samsung CRT. Wired my LG 5.1 surround sound system. Setup my new Playstation 3, my slightly older Xbox 360, and real older Playstation 2 to the tv and amplifier. Purchased 2 PS3 games and even went as far as buying a HDMI and optical cable for the connections.
Non of these are made in Nigeria.

Took me a whole Saturday morning to get the connections right.
All this happened about 2 weeks ago.
Guess what?
I havent played the games or rocked the 1080i functionality of the TV as I write this.
Why?

NEPA!!! (Never Expect Power Always)
Or is it PHCN now? (Pls Hold Candle Now!)

There has been no power supply to power these equipment.
Jeez! Seems we have run out of water in the dam (again) and there is no gas to supply the power plants!
Light comes on by 7am - on my way to work, and goes by 6pm - on my way back from work.
The rest of the night, I'm on my own. Except of course I have the now basic household appliance of a power generator.
I don't.

Anyways,
the objective of this rant is that all the stuff mentioned above is for sale.
And for very cheap too.

Any takers?

P.S. Naija is what Nigerian's fondly call our country