shirak!

There are a couple of words I have seen online that stymie me.
I'm not too sure if they are Nigerian english or something else.
So, anyone care to explain them for me?
It's not like I'm getting too old that I don't know these words, am I?

A friend told me that one of the first signs of age is when MTV Base starts to become dry and CNN suddenly becomes a very interesting channel. I still try to listen to MTV and keep up with trends but I have to work at it.

Sturvs (girlie lingo apparently)
Paro (or something like that)

I was tagged (honestly, who coined this word?) a long time ago and have been hoping to avoid responding. Just because its something I have to think hard about.

No joy.

I was tagged by ablackjamesbond and Jinta....aahhh which is pretty strange as they are guys (pretty much the big cahunas up in here) and most of my readers are ladies. Strangely, non of the ladies tagged me :(
This proves one more truism I have learnt in life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do men make better life friends than women?

My six unspectacular quirks are:

1. I belch quite often after feeding. Quietly though, I must add. I never knew this until my girl started to give me funny looks when these sounds escaped my throat. These days, I just try to make it as low key as possible. But c'mon, everyone belches right? It's a more decent and odourless way of passing gas.

2. Sneezing becomes me in the mornings. This started only about a year ago. No reason whatsoever. I just sneeze a number of times. My parents have suggested exercises in the mornings. I think that's useless. What has exercising got to do with sneezes? I weigh only 78kg, so why wake up and workout? Maybe its some irritation of sorts. May have to go to a doctor for this later.

3. This one would probably give me out right away but, what the heck.
I stutter. I've been doing this all my life that I never really notice it until someone brings it to my attention or I listen to myself talk. I do shy away from public speaking, but must say that I have done quite a few public presentations especially on the job. Someone brought it to my sharp attention a little over a year ago. I had a meeting with Gamaliel Onosode and before we even began, he noticed my stutter and we talked about this for a while before we got to business. He challenged me. No one had ever talked to me about this in the manner he did. I will call him some day soon and tell him I've stopped. Soon.

4. I used to have this abnormal attraction to human beings of the opposite sex.
Yes, its a general disease with menfolk, I know. But mine can be an epidemic sometimes.
At one point in my teenage years, I remember praying to God to take away this strong lust/love-like feelings I have for women. But I thankfully remembered that would even cause more havoc than necessary. So right now, I'm just dealing with it. Successfully, I might add. Channeling it to one person only. J.

Little does he know the purpose they serve.

5. I really do not like to plan. My motto used to be "When you fail to plan, failure comes as a complete surprise" Crappy motto actually, but it worked for me. Now, my angel, J, loves to plan waaay in advance and for me thats a completely different way of life. That means that we complement ourselves though.

6. I do everything at the same time and eventually end up doing nothing. The list of things I have attempted are legion. Thankfully, they are restricted to hobbies and sometimes work.

Thats it. That's about as decent as I can get. I went to a Nigerian boarding school (FGC) and I had a teacher who used to say "One day, a very big breeze shall blow, and the fowl's anus shall be exposed". Mine shall not be exposed here. Anonymous or not.

I tag the following lovely writers:
Kemmie, Naija Idol, Today's Ranting, Interesting Websites, Sisto, In my head & around me

The Tagging rules are:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

I have done all 5.

P.S. Updated this post by adding pictures that seemed to suit the quirks.

So, apparently most of my charming and sweet female readers know too much about menfolk. Infact, some of you even know more than we do about ourselves going from some of the comments on my last post. *sigh* Women never seize to amaze me.

The man has not been born that can claim to totally understand women.

But, if you know this much already, why ask for more information? Why do I suddenly feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot? Giving myself up?

I will take Jinta's advice and keep my mouth shut on this.

No more.

I am sending this post in from the Dubai airport. I have 4 hours to burn in transit.

I had 55kg above the bloody Emirates limit of 42kg. The check in guy at the KL airport looked at my luggages, shook his head and said, "Sir, you have a problem". Well said. Had to spend the next 30 minutes repacking and packing all over again. I hear that's a widely known Nigerian characteristic :) My girl called and talked me through some proper packing skills. Ended up throwing away a number of manuals and packagings.

Emirates charges 150 Ringgits or $50 per bloody kg of excess luggage! That's robbery! Scratch that. Armed robbery. Thankfully, there is a cheaper option that takes about a week to get to you. Phew.
How the heck did I accumulate close to a 100kg of stuff in 4 months? Partly due to those people who gave me a list to shop for them and my lovely large family. I have to get married and cut them off my family list. That way I know it's just me and my wife.

So, here I am, looking forward to a blissful 7hr flight to Dubai. Sleeping and catching up on the latest inflight movies (Emirates really has new movies) and I get stuck with an elderly drone of a man.
From the time I sat down the guy kept on 'yarning'. WTF. I thought business class was for comfort and peace. Not in this guy's view. I was lectured by a 70 year old man on a wide range of topics including investment opportunities in the commodity market, world economy, world politics, problems with Palestinians and Jews, the over 100 countries he's been to, his 35 year old marriage... PHEW.
By the time I finally settled down to watch a movie with the guy soundly snoring beside me, the pilot said we had 30 minutes to touchdown. Drats.

Yes oh. I'm on my way to Lagos after 4 months and there are so many things I miss and more, I think, I do not.
I am excited. And thankful. For many things. Amongst others, J.

Argh. Boarding call for my flight.....